Home > The Kagayanon Thoughts > So what is this all about?

So what is this all about?

I dunno.

There is a thing that happens in our lives where we could not exactly identify what is it all about. This thing is a mystery, a story yet to unfold. Exciting, yes, but what to expect is still a blur. We tend to expect for things that will make us happy but along the way, as we journey to that, we sometimes get confused. Because what we really thought could happen may not be the “could-happen” we wanted. We are deceived not by others but by ourselves because we let ourselves fall into that “thing”.

Am I just going round and round?

I dunno.

Why am I writing this?

I’m not exactly sure why.

But the thing is ever since I started blogging and be active online, my life has been in one great turmoil. Don’t get me wrong. I am enjoying its perks, really — especially in meeting people. Wonderful people. People I learned to get along with and people I began to love.

So, whats the con?

Shameless to say but I’m falling in love with one person whom I’ve met online. It’s not on chatting. More on the blogging world. And somehow, I know it’s not good. Me becoming addicted to the internet has led me to this thing which is not supposed to happen. I mean I have a life outside the internet and I could meet a  lot of people there. Plus the fact that the virtual world is not considered permanent.

So, why go with that?

Because I let myself believe his lines. Lines he wrote. Poetic. Romantic. All in that tiny little chatbox. All in that tiny cellphone screen. Yes, all in that. But sadly, in real life, it’s plain opposite. In real life, he’s not the one in that tiny little chatbox anymore. Which is sad, by the way. Because my heart leaps when I see him but he is showing he doesn’t even care. Or maybe he was just pretending to have a sweet mouth (oh, make that a sweet hand) in the net. But in reality, he isn’t. So, that’s it. I don’t know what to expect anymore. That makes the virtual world so deceitful.

So, what happens next?

I dunno. Maybe, I’ll take one step backward. and  more steps backward soon. Because I now realize I have to detach myself from being too close with the “virtual” and go get a real life soon! As for that person, I don’t know if you’ll be part of my reality. If that happens, well and good. If not, I’ll just say hello to earth!

*Did I even make sense? Duh. Will prolly delete this post.

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